Happy 5th Birthday to the twins who were almost mine

It's crazy to think that all happened 5 years ago.  Sometimes if feels like it happened a long time ago, and other times it feels as it was just the other day.  I just hope those kids are happy where ever they are, that they are being taken care of. I really wish some day I could just see them, a picture even and find out their names, but I know that is highly unlikely.  I love my family the exact way it is right now, and it's practically impossible to imagine what it might had been if we had been able to adopt those two sweet babies, but I know it would have been perfect if had been too.  Wouldn't it be cool if . . .  we could live another life and see how things may have been if something worked out differently than it did.  I know, silly right, it just something I think about sometimes.  I still can't think about all that took place 5 years ago and not get emotional about it.  It is without a doubt the hardest trial of my life so far, to have lost those babies.

On the other hand I had an interesting conversation with JR today.  I was watching the news this morning and they were talking about the earthquake and tsunami that happened in Japan.  JR asked me what happened, so I explained to him what had happened in Japan.  He then said, "Why did Heavenly Father do that?" I was amazed that he put that together so quickly with my explanation of an earthquake and a tsunami, but I just did not know how to reply to him.  I told him I didn't know.  I know that trials are an important part of this life, but how do you explain that to a 4 year old.